WMT: He’s over you.

“Why do men get over a break up faster than women?”

Most of the search engine terms that direct traffic to my blog have something to do with this subject. Women ask, “How can he be over me so quickly?” or “Why is it easier for men to get over a break up?” Apparently, the romantic resilience of men is baffling to women. I attempted to explain this in an earlier post, but I removed it when I immediately disagreed with my own writing. Hopefully, my second attempt will be more fruitful.

**These reasons are assuming the following: (a) You dated for an extended period of time. (b) You broke up and he already seems to be over you.

The Reason(s):

1. He never “really” liked you. Its true. Sometimes you have to accept it; it being, “He wasn’t that into you.” Men will get into meaningless relationships for sex, comfort, and even amusement. Although not all men are like this, I think we have all been like this at one point in our lives. That means that these men are always out there, but with different faces.
2. He “really” liked you. Most men would prefer not to show a weak and emotional side to their ex-girlfriends. Instead of letting on how much they miss their “Ex” or how depressed they are, they act as if it doesn’t matter. At times, they will over act. If you were in a 2 year relationship and he acts as if this happens every morning, he might be hiding his true feelings. However, this doesn’t mean that you can go kiss him and everything will return to normal. The relationship ended for a reason. He is hiding his emotions from you, because he doesn’t want to share them with you. Don’t pry for self-satisfaction!
3. He caught the perfect “Rebound”. Every once in a while, you will see a basketball player grab the ball of the rebound and dunk it hard. This is also true in the game of dating. “Being on the rebound” is a common term for most of the dating community. However, we often equate this to short-meaningless relationships to nurse our wounds after a more serious relationship. This is not always the case. At times, a pair may “hookup” on the rebound and find something amazing. Whether it be sexual chemistry, personality compatibility, etc., it is compounded by the emotions of “being on the rebound” and turns into something quite serious.
4. Turning a new leaf. Many times, good people find themselves in unhealthy relationships. They lose their ambition, self-worth, and morals. I do not know why certain people bring the “best of us” out and others bring the “worst of us” out. However, I do know that breaking out of a destructive relationship will often go hand-in-hand with a drastic change in lifestyle. For men, this “turning a new leaf” can consume our linear thinking minds. We will engross ourselves in study, work, or self-improvement. Rather than exhibiting emotional neediness or sadness after a breakup, we show signs of personal progress. However, that growth is fueled by the emotions of the break up–albeit negative emotions.
5. Dazed and Confused. Sometimes(most times), it is all four(and more) combined. It seems complicated, but it should be. Its a break up.

Now, if you are a woman who is reading this post and looking for answers on “why your ex is acting the way he is”, you may have found great insight in this post. But, I ask you to look a little deeper. Don’t these ideas apply to both men and women?

He may appear to be perfectly fine, but then again, so do you. Stop asking questions and get on with your life!

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