whatmenthinkWhy men look. Why men stare.
“Oh my God! That guy totally looked down my shirt!”
“He was seriously staring at my Ass as I walked away.”
While some women enjoy the admiring glances (or stares), other women simply detest it. (Although sometimes it differs depending on the attractiveness of the male admirer.) So, why do men look? Why do men stare? Are they perverts? Are they constantly thinking about sex? what’s the deal?
The truth of the matter is that men have an innately instilled behavior to visually inspect women. Its a reflex rather than a conscious choice. Now, men are able to suppress this reflex if they make a conscious effort, but most often they are caught off guard. Staring on the other hand is at times conscious and at other times not. Usually, a man can avert his eyes when he realizes where he’s wandered. (But there are the rare instances that a woman is so captivating, a man cannot help himself.)
Sadly, women often treat men as animals when they catch them turning to look or shifting their eyes. I can definitely understand if the man is staring/gawking in an inappropriate way, but a glance and then quickly looking away is very courteous in my opinion.
Men are visually inclined. They will turn and look if a beautiful woman enters their field of vision. Hammer the knee, up comes the leg. Thats what men think.
Filed under: Explaining Men | Tagged: date, Dating, Life, look, Love, Marriage, Men, Relationships, Romance, Sex, stare, Women
I agree. I never have a problem with a guy staring at other women when he is with me (within reason, of course). In fact, if he didn’t. I’d suspect he was gay.
I find it sad when women get so paranoid about men staring at other women they don’t let them watch TV shows like Baywatch because they worry that the man is going to get turned on by the beautiful women.
I say…so what?
As for me, I understand why men sometimes leer, but I try to ignore it. What really baffles me is when I look like a right hobo and they STILL leer and give catcalls, then I look around and if no one is around but me, I wonder if they are blind or being silly.
I prefer to enjoy when men stare and give me a compliment because I know when I get old and things start heading south, I would miss it.
x
Cara
Even for those of us who try not to stare or glance it is very difficult because it is so naturally ingrained
I like watching the reactions of a girl who is with the guy whos doing the staring. The girls try to be slick about looking at their man to see if he is going to stare at me as he passes. I kind of feel for her, and think she’s stupid all at once. If you are that insecure that you have to monitor his sight, then at least be discreet about it!
Yeah, gawking is a different story, but its impossible not to glance at people as they walk by.
RWG:
It is definitely naturally ingrained in men.
missmegs:
yes… this post was really for those girls. The ones who get upset when their boyfriends look. The ones that are so insecure.
Just don’t make staring OBVIOUS. That’s all.
Cari:
Staring is always a bit uncomfortable.
Staring is rude to the woman you’re with, but glancing is pretty much normal and to be expected. It can be annoying sometimes, but if your relationship is solid, and you love yourself, then so what if he glances.
And honestly, I look at beautiful people, both men and women. Some people just are absolutely beautiful, and it doesn’t matter if they are a man or a woman, I’ll look at them.
I know someone who’s dating a man who is a “people-watcher” and she gets upset when he looks at women. He told her, “I look, but I’m not thinking about having SEX with any of them!” I told her just to look the other way if she sees someone coming. Why torture yourself. He’s certainly not going to change.
And I wouldn’t like to be told I couldn’t look at something.
WMT is right, men stare because it’s a reflex. It’s ingrained in our neanderthal brains. We can’t help it.
That said, a man on a date should not stare or gawk at other women. Our cro-magnin selves have enough control to focus on the woman we are with. If we can’t, maybe we shouldn’t be with her.
Funny story - I was in a crowded bar in SF and a hottie walked by with her shirt unbuttoned a bit too far and a push-up doing some heavy lifting. She walked right by me, and how could I NOT take a peek? Her friends trolling behind me all called me a pig. I was just being a MAN.
Where was WMT when I needed him most?
dadshouse:
I was probably staring from the other side!
[...] I say a hottie. (I need more than just looks from a romantic partner, but there’s a reason why men stare - we’re visual creatures who can’t help but notice physical [...]
[...] I say a hottie. (I need more than just looks from a romantic partner, but there’s a reason why men stare - we’re visual creatures who can’t help but notice physical [...]
I had to laugh at this one. I’ve watched my husband follow that same “instinct” for 28 years. Do I worry about it? No, because he’s home with me every night. I’ve seen my son do it to a pair of nicely fitting jeans as she walked away, & when I said something to him, his answer was something to the effect that she looked good & deserved to be looked at.
I don’t appreciate it (my husband had to do the male staking out thing when he caught some man staring at me) but I also realize that men do it. We may not like it, but I don’t think it’s something we can turn off. If they’re alive, they’re looking.
What makes me smile is when a woman has obviously dressed to gain male attention (you know what I mean) and then acts like she doesn’t like it. I guess in her mind she only dressed that way so the guys SHE felt attracted to would look LOL…
Mr. Right:
I agree. Women know when they wear something revealing. Women know when you can see their nipples through their shirt. Woman have confessed to me of knowing all these things.