whatmenthinkWhat men think about “Girl’s night out”.
“Girls night out” is a common practice among ladies. Getting dressed up and going to the bars or clubs seems to be the most popular activity on these nights. When you are single, this is a great weekend activity and a fun way to meet men without having to look like a lonely, desperate woman having a cocktail alone. Men like to have their “Boys night out” as well. Single men will also get dressed up, cologned up, and actually shave to go out with their crew of buddies. Usually, they will pair off into twos as “wingmen” to scout out the flock of ladies attending their venue of choice. So, is there anything wrong with Girl’s/Boy’s night out?
Singles: NO
Couples/Married: YES
What do I have against “Girls night out”? The idea of men or women having a break from each other to spend time with their friends doesn’t bother me at all. If the woman would like to get a mani/pedi or go shopping with her gals, no problem. The problem is that most of these outings will lead to either a bar or club scene. I cannot count how many times, as a single male, I have ran into a herd of non-single woman out for girls night out. Inevitably, one or two of them will get drunk and hook up with a persistent and interested man. I know that some of you are thinking, “Thats not me! I just go to dance.” Stop lying to yourself! If you want to dance, enroll in an evening dance class. Not only will you learn how to dance better, you will have fun with the girls. Right? “Well, its nice to get dressed up and go out.” There it is! The truth. The truth is that ladies want to go out looking nice and receiving admiration from men. Flirting with disaster. You may go out just to have that great feeling of being dressed to the nines and getting admiring glances, but be careful when you play with fire. You will get burnt. I am not opposed to girl’s night out at a restaurant, movie theater, or any other respectable venue. However, we all know what a club or bar scene is all about. If you feel a need to fulfill yourself with additional male admiration, the relationship is already on the rocks missy.
SO, what do men think of this? We know. We have been single and we have met the girl’s night out groups. We know the only thing better is meeting a drunk bachelor-ette party. Men can smell the weakness of a woman craving male attention and admiration. Sadly, if you meet a guy who is looking to get laid, you will be a prime target if you are that “lame gazelle”.
If you are in a relationship, perhaps you should avoid such outings. Men, you too. If you need time with your guy/girl friends away from your significant other, how about a round of golf or a day at the spa. But lets skip the meat market clubs and bars.
Filed under: Explaining Men, Relationships | Tagged: Dating, girls night out, guys night out, Life, Men, Relationships, Romance, Sex, Women
I 100% agree with everything you said. I’m so sick of all my single, skanky friends trying to get me to leave my boyfriend at home for a night of whoring myself out and being groped at scummy clubs. They don’t get it. I even have married friends who are the same way. Of course this automatically means to them that my boyfriend is controlling and I’m just making excuses to cover up for him. What it really comes down to though, is that I wouldn’t want him doing it (and he doesn’t) so why would I? Guys looking for ass at a bar or club… I don’t need that kind of attention.
If I go to a bar anymore it’s only to see live music. I have many musician friends and that’s where they often play–bars. It’s safe though, because once men see you know “the band”, they pretty much leave you alone, assuming you’re with one of the members. At least, that’s what I think is going on.
Bars are really not very good places to meet anyone, IMO.
But if you’re looking to misbehave, that’s the place to go, though it just seems really pathetic, now that I am older (and hopefully wiser).
I agree that if you’re messing around looking for other male attention (or female, if you’re a man) while you’re in a relationship, that just sucks. Obviously there’s a problem in the relationship if that’s happening.
Work it out, or get out of it. Cheating is just plain crappy, all the way around.
Great post!
I agree with most of what you wrote. I like going to bars/clubs very rarely, but that is not just for the dancing or music, but for the whole atmosphere, the boogey lights, being able to dance with my friends and random strangers…whether I have a boyfriend or not.
It gets boring pretty quickly to be restricted to dancing with only a boyfriend. What if they are horrible dancers? Or they hate dancing?
I started dancing when I was 8 months old so I am not about to give it up just because a guy does not want to move. And there is a difference between dancing with a girl or boy. I prefer to do both. If a guy starts groping me, I just dance away from him and move on to someone else.
I like your advice for married women though, if they are not as resilient as I am and their relationship is already on the rocks, then they are flirting with temptation by going to such places.
x
Cara
My solution? Go to gay clubs.
You’ll be fawned on by tons of guys who have no interest in you whatsoever sexually but it’s still totally gratifying.
And can I just say…I find the archetype of the 26 year old guy who can’t let go of his frat boy days and dresses in the uniform of collared shirt with the collar up, the too strong Armani cologne, the spiked hair, with one hand holding onto a Heiniken and the other in his pocket…totally unattractive.
/rant.
Fluvial:
Thats a brilliant idea! Gay guys love to dance. Straight guys might like it, but not as much.
Thanks!
One slight snag with that idea though Fluvial.
Even in straight clubs I have had gay women coming on to me and feeling me up when I am dancing.
So I can imagine the same sexual pestering in gay clubs.
Valid point but I think if boyfriends had to choose between lesbians hitting on their girlfriends and straight guys…most would choose lesbians. I could be gender stereotyping but that’s just a thought. Large grain of salt!
What’d I’d be more concerened about are the straight guys that go to gay clubs to hit on straight women because we feel safe there. Gross.
A married pack of women in a bar is hell for a single dad like me. I’m early 40s, and know enough to stay out of clubs where I’m old enough to be someone’s dad. But these women head to the upscale restaurant bars that I frequent, and they flirt with me like crazy. At some point they flash their rings and let me know they have husbands at home. But they don’t want me to go away because they LOVE the attention. What a waste of an evening for me! If I want to chat with a married mom, I just talk to my neighbors in the suburbs where I live.
As for guys going out - my married buddies will do beer night with me, and for the most part they keep their eyes glued to our little table. I have had a married buddy as wingman, with disastrous results. (I blogged about that one a little while ago: http://dadshouseblog.com/2008/03/26/when-a-married-man-is-a-wingman/)
Like WMT said, golf courses and spas are a much better choice for married women/men hanging out. Great post!
Well written. One suggestion: it might be okay for the couple to go to a bar/club and *stay* around only with mutual friends. Then there will be no chance they can hit up a new guy/girl..unless they get drunk and get separated and float around the place…hmm.
Oh hell no. I absolutely disagree with this post. While it’s nice you tagged on that bit about boyfriends staying out of clubs, too, I find the whole concept a bit insulting.
Some women in relationships, in fact, I would wager most, just want to hang with their girls, dance, have a drink or two, and blow off steam. Sometimes life is not about men, or wanting their attention and approval.
I don’t dig the club scene, but I wouldn’t keep a boyfriend who tried to guilt me about the occasional girls’ night out at the local bar.
Shannon:
“Some women in relationships, in fact, I would wager most, just want to hang with their girls, dance, have a drink or two, and blow off steam”
Agreed. However, it is safe to say that a majority of people at a bar or club are looking to meet someone or hook-up. Couldn’t you “blow off steam” in a different place, given the intent of most people at these venues?
Nope. I don’t let other people dictate my behavior, it’s absurd. Bars are public places, and I’ll go wherever I want. I like bars, I like jukeboxes and dim light and pitchers of beer. And mozzarella sticks and harmless chatting with strangers.
If a guy hits on me, I make it plain that I’m just hanging out and I have a boyfriend. I refuse to give up things I enjoy on the off chance somebody might hit on me. Life’s too damn short.
Shannon:
“I don’t let other people dictate my behavior, it’s absurd.”
Thats a good attitude for a single person. I don’t know if that would work when you are married and have kids.
Of course it does, unless you’d like to be with someone controlling. My boyfriend wouldn’t tell me where to go, because he trusts that I have enough sense to not mack the bartender.
I worry about people who think that once they’re no longer single, their lives are over and they have all these new rules. Good relationships don’t involve giving up things you enjoy just to appease someone else’s idea of propriety.
“My solution? Go to gay clubs. You’ll be fawned on by tons of guys who have no interest in you whatsoever sexually but it’s still totally gratifying.” –Fluvial
Lol Fluvial, that’s so funny!
WMT, I have to admit at first I didn’t agree with you concerning the married GNO. While I think it is possible for a group of women to get together and have a nice evening out at a club, I do agree some of your observations are appliciable.
Very interesting post!
Of course women won’t agree with “What men think”
Thats nothing new. I’m not looking for individuals such as Shannon to agree with me. I’m simply stating a largely generalized view.
Shannon, you need not worry. You are obviously not going to date a man with this type of view anyway. I’m simply stating a view point that you can choose to avoid.
WMT, yup, I’ve learned the hard way that if a guy has opinions on where I go when I’m not with him, I’m better off single. The guys that gravitate to me dig my independence.
“Well, its nice to get dressed up and go out.” There it is! The truth. The truth is that ladies want to go out looking nice and receiving admiration from men. Flirting with disaster.”
Nail - Head - Hit…
“But it wasn’t my fault, I was drunk and he wouldn’t take no for an answer…”
mr right:
Its nice to have someone agree with me once in a while. LOL