What men think: Rate that Girl!

“Rate that girl 1 to 10!”

“Yeah! Lucy was like a Ferrari, man! But Megan is like a Ford Focus! HA HA HA HA~”

“I would give her an ‘A’ for face and a ‘B’ for body. Overall, she’s like a ‘B +’.”

“Yeah. She was definitely ‘Moped Status’. Fun to ride, but embarrassing to be seen on.”

I’m sure my female audience is fuming by this point, but I’m not here to make people feel good. My goal is to educate you on what men think. You may or may not understand the psyche or reasoning behind their behavior, but expecting men to change because you don’t understand them is not going to happen. Much in the same way, women are not going to change the way they think because a man doesn’t understand them. I want to make this quite clear, because I find many of my readers arguing points that I cannot control. Not in myself, and not in any other man. Stop trying to change men. You cannot make someone change. People can only change, because they them-self wish to change and make the change.

So, what am I trying to get at with this post? The rating of a female based on numbers, letter grades, or analogies is quite common. Every group of guy friends has their own intricate system of rating. Women will eventually have some interaction with a form of “Rate that Girl!” What I hope to educate you on is the mentality behind this behavior and not the justice or reasoning.

As I have stated many times before, men are visually oriented. Regardless of whether he is a religious man, disciplined man, or rampant nymphomaniac, he will turn his head when a beautiful and sexy woman enters his field of vision. This does not mean that he will continue to stare or examine. ONLY, that he will take notice whether he wishes to or not. The only men who do not take notice would be perhaps homosexual men, (but even they might take notice of the competition). I really don’t care to hear your arguments on how you as a man DON’T do this or you as a woman find this offensive. Please, refrain from commenting with that information as it is not constructive to this discussion.

Now that we have stated that men are visual creatures, lets figure out how that correlates to this practice using ratings. Given that men are visually oriented, they tend to have very good visual imagination (when it comes to the female face and form). The rating system is a means for them to communicate what they have seen with eachother. It allows them to develop a common understanding of what they as a group find attractive. While one group of men might rate a woman at a “7/10″, a different group might view the same woman as a “4/10″. The rating itself is relative to the group of men who have developed it. Understanding the relativity of the rating systems in use is key in this discussion.

Women have a natural desire for verbal affirmation. Because of this desire, they may ask a man for his “rating” of her. Please, do not do this. There are a few things inherently wrong with this question. First, the rating system can rarely quantify non-physical attributes of a woman. Some ratings attempt to integrate relational value into the mental calculation, but because that is relative on an individual basis (rather than a group basis) it destroys the usability of the system. For example, if my female friend and I are very close and my male friend asks me to describe her based on rating, I would have to give him a rating based only on her appearance. I cannot integrate the positive experiences and associations of our relationship, because my male friend does not have those relational experiences with my female friend. When you ask a man to to rate you, be prepared for a contaminated answer (because he does not want to give you the honest one if he is truly your friend. It doesn’t do you justice in his eyes). He will most likely not be fully honest, because it really isn’t a good representation of his esteem or affinity towards you as a woman. Second, asking a man to rate you on a physical level is reverting back to step one in meeting a man, physical attraction. Why would you want to take leaps and bounds backwards? It is not constructive; it is destructive.

I have witnessed female friends accidentally learn how they have been rated by men and become emotionally distraught. Sometimes they actively sought it out, and become emotionally distraught. If either of these scenarios has happened (or happens) to you, please be knowledgeable and understanding. Yes, men are visual and their analysis of your appearance can be a bit shocking. However, this is nothing personal towards you or how they view you as a friend. As far as romance? Yes, it is huge. It might suck if you find your crush has rated you as a “3/10″, but guess what? That’s life. Women turn men down all the time. Women even feel entitled to sit back and wait for the man to make the first move and then reject them. I am a firm believer in equality. If you feel that as a woman you are entitled to say, “I’m really not attracted to you in that way”, men have the same right. Just because their reasons are physical shouldn’t make them shallow jerks. Men cannot help if they do not find you attractive. PERIOD. Again, its not something we can control and it doesn’t mean that we don’t like you or respect you as a person.

So I say, “Fair is fair.”

(This post is dedicated to “Sliced Bread”)