Don’t ask a man what he thinks about women’s fashion.
Whenever I go to the mall, I always see some poor guy shopping with his wife or girlfriend. Actually, the woman is doing the shopping and the man is usually being tugged along as an “expert critic”. The wife will ask as question like, “Do you think this dress would go well with my black, strappy heels?” The man usually feigns an attempt at evaluating the preceding question. Unfortunately, it doesn’t matter what the question is, because he has no idea. In the mind of the average man, “black, strappy heels” brings to mind black shoes. Period. There is no shape or style in his mind.
In spite of the fact that men don’t really know or care about women’s fashion, we are continually subjected to be expert critics (who can never critique). Now, I know some of you might be saying, “My boyfriend/husband knows what he’s talking about!” This may be true. In fact, I know more about women’s fashion than most girls. I’ve worked in fashion, my younger sister is a fashion designer, and I’ve lived with enough women to know what is “In” and ”Out” before it ever happens. In fact, a woman’s taste in fashion is very important to me. But I still don’t want to play the game of Russian Roullette, that is the shopping date. The truth is, women don’t really want our honest opinion. They want our affirmation. If we agree with what they have picked out, they feel better about purchasing it. If we disagree, they will be upset and say we don’t know what we are talking about. They will even buy it and wear it to show us we were wrong.
The problem here is this. Men are always getting the short end of the stick in this scenario. At best, we waste hours of a day following a woman like a dog and barking our affirmation. Seriously? Is that what you want in a guy? A lap dog? Ladies, please take your girl friends shopping and let your men rest. Don’t set yourself to be upset, because your man “doesn’t like your style”. Inevitably, this will also bring out your physical insecurities as well (to come in another post).
Filed under: Dating, Fashion, Relationships, Romance | Tagged: Dating, Fashion, Life, Love, Men, Relationships, Shopping
Ha, this is so true. Everytime I see a “boyfriend” shopping with their gf I feel so sorry for the guy - I reckon he’d be much happier just eating instead of following her around like a dog, like you said.
Also another thing I think (from a female’s pov) is that guys don’t really want to know the mystery of how we make ourselves sexy. They just want to See us beautiful, but perhaps not the whole backstage scene behind it.
I hope I’m thinking in the right direction..
I think its definitely better from both a Female and Male POV to maintain the mystery. Sadly, I think that idea is beyond some people.
Who are these guys that agree to go shopping with their girlfriends if they know they’ll be subjected to hours waiting outside a dressing room? Sounds to me like they need to be assertive and tell their ladies “Why don’t you go on ahead and I’ll stay home and think about how gorgeous you are.”
(just another perspective)
Absolutely! I totally agree with you Fluvial. I realize I failed to add anything about the un-assertive (un-manly) guys who subject themselves to this type of behavior. Men who act like lap dogs are whipped, nancy boys!
I think both scenarios come from lack of confidence, no matter the gender. If people are in a respectful relationship, hopefully they’d have the confidence and sensitvity to a) not ask their partners to do something they know would be horrible and b) gently refuse if the partner made a totally unreasonable request.
/rant.
Sidenote: I’m currently writing a small book about the new female gender roles and relationships so that’s why I’ve got a lot to say on this topic. The main thesis…don’t be stupid.
You have a lot of constructive and beneficial things to say! I appreciate your comments very much.
I will have to check your blog for news on your book! =)
(p.s. We are posting on each other’s blog at the same time?)
We ARE posting on each other’s blogs at the same time.
Book stuff will be hidden in secrecy for a little while but once it’s ready to go, I’m going to market the pants off the thing.
Women should take their girlfriends or their fashion-disposed gay male friends with them when they shop. Who ever heard of this? Sometimes I feel like I haven’t dated ANYONE, because I’ve never ever once taken a man shopping. Now, on the other hand, I did have two boyfriends who liked to take me shopping for things such as jewelry, perfume, and clothes. In that case, one of course would go shopping with her man
I agree Brenda. Girlfriends or Gayfriends for shopping. Unfortunately, I think not everyone has your wisdome. This co-shopping happens a lot with couples in their early 20s and older married couples. Although there are some cases of this in between those age groups as well.
I, for one, hate shopping with anyone other than myself. Just get in and get out already. I hate having people wait for me, and it ruins a shopping experience that I don’t really enjoy anyway. Knowing what I’m getting before I go in has saved my boyfriend and I more times than I can say!
I’m the same way hautepocket.
I’m guessing all the women who do drag their men along with them aren’t commenting, because all the comments thus far have be propogating my thoughts.
I think you are over examining this. They just want the sap to pay.
Just kidding.
I can never understand why these guys just don’t say no. As you mentioned these ladies need some friends or a good therapist.
Going exploring now WMT…
I tend to be overly analytical, but I will err on the side of caution. =) WMT is a new blog for me, so not much to share yet. Of course, more to come.
I like the new header
Did you take that photo?
I didn’t. But this is a beach I regularly visited as a child in Northern California. Nostalgia goes hand in hand with blogging!
I don’t really care that much. Fashion for girls is so delicate. For me, it’s nothing. I don’t know with other men. I mean, if she looks like a world-class model with those shoes, I’d feel great about it. On the other hand, if she looks like a goose in her outfit, I wouldn’t care. I’m not in love with the dress or the clothes.
I agree, you can’t expect a man to give the expert criticism. You can expect him to say something like: “Whatever you put on looks good on you.”
Sometimes, it’s true.
I have a law: I don’t have to watch sports with you, you don’t have to go shopping with me.
If the game is on while I’m over at your place, I will read a magazine and ignore you while you’re glued to the television. If I need to get some shopping in, and you’re with me, I’ll drop you off in “boyfriend daycare” - a bar or a record store - and I’ll come back for you later.
I think people forget that your partner is under no obligation to like everything that you like, and differences are healthy. I shop with my girls and leave the boyfriend out of it.
Quite true Shannon!